What Else do I do?

My life up to this point has taken a windy road which, from what I hear from various mentors and people later in their careers, is quite normal. I sometimes feel like I’ve pigeonholed myself professionally, so it’s nice to be reminded of things that exist beyond the sphere of music and education. In fact, it’s where I gather a lot of my inspiration, and learn lessons that can be applied elsewhere (e.g. my Master’s Degree thesis). The thing I love about existing beyond what my professional resume may showcase is that it offers so many amazing opportunities, and neat connections that I never, in a million years would have dreamed of having.

One of my newer loves that has developed within the past three years is my love for rock climbing. I actually started towards the end of my public school career. It was done on a whim, and has become a major facet of what I do. It not only offers a great mental and physical challenge, but also has helped me become stronger and more confident.

When I first started rock climbing, I was coming off of major injuries (Carpal Tunnel Syndrome) that had been acquired through years of repetitive actions (tuning instruments, practicing nonstop, playing piano for the students, etc.). The injuries were so severe, that when someone lightly touched my thumb, I could barely lift it. I was also dropping things, as I wasn’t able to fully grip onto anything. It was a pretty devastating time, given that my ability to support myself relies heavily on the use of my hands. In an effort to stave off the need for surgery, I opted to go through a year of intensive physical therapy, going from hand strengthening, to full body physical therapy, and ending with strength and conditioning therapy. It worked, but the year had taken its toll on me. I felt weak, and all I could think of was how weak my wrists were, and “would I ever even get to play cello as well as I could again?” Flash forward to about 6 months later, when I came across a chance to start rock climbing at the local gym. It seemed like a neat deal, so I went ahead and signed up for it.

Once I started, I couldn’t stop. The power I felt coming back into my hands, and the mad desire to “get over” my fear of heights was intoxicating. I started to spend a majority of my time at the gym to conquer my fears, and gain strength. And then I discovered all the other forms of climbing and the amazing opportunities they presented. In an effort to do more climbing wise with friends, I’d ask around for information, take classes, glean information from my coworkers, scour the web for resources, practice a million times indoors, and then hope against all hope that we’d be ready when we tackled a new adventure outside. In fact, the aspect of adventure alone became a huge draw for me, and became a driving force in my quest to “get over” my fear of falling and heights. After reading books such as “The Rock Warrior’s Way”, and forcing myself through Whipper Therapy (taking huge falls), there was still a present fear, but once I started to get outside, everything changed. I wanted to be able to climb other climbs--harder climbs--explore more intense terrain, and leap into Traditional Climbing; so, slowly I learned how to control my mind, maintain focus, and keep moving.

There are definitely a lot of lessons to be learned from rock climbing (much like in music). Like Matthew Child’s TEDTalk, I have learned a lot, but more importantly for me, I have pushed myself more than I ever thought was possible. I am getting better at assessing risk, and doing things that used to terrify me like: going freelance, collaborating on a neat project and putting a video of myself out into the internet, putting a recording of myself online, pursuing a career outside of teaching, climbing outdoors, taking huge falls, etc. Basically, getting outside of my comfort zone, and ignoring all the millions of thoughts like “Oh man, what if people think this is stupid?” or some variety of that that plague me often, because in the grand scheme of things, and in the end...who cares if someone liked my work and someone else didn’t? As long as my work was able to impact someone, help someone in some way, teach someone, or inspire someone, that’s good enough for me. So yeah, I’m a musician, I’m an educator, but I’m also a rock climber, and rock climbing has really been what has rebooted my return to being a musician.

Why Music?

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.”

— Albert Einstein

There are a lot of career paths that I’ve always envisioned myself going down. In elementary school it was a firefighter, until someone told me that girls couldn’t do that, so then I changed courses. My thoughts ran to what my mom did, which was nursing, so for awhile I thought, “Oh, I want to do that too!” By high school, my heart was dead set on becoming a biochemical engineer, to cure cancer. And then….funniest of things happened. I was so incredibly bad at chemistry, and only slightly OK at biology. Senior year of high school hit, and the question of “what are you going to college for?” became a recurring theme. After a lot of thinking, music became the clearest choice.

But why music specifically? I realized how big a part music was playing in my life. I loved playing the cello, and I wanted to pass along how great music made me feel to the next generation of kids. Things started to add up. Teaching and music were things that I was good at, and things I enjoyed. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the right fit. Music has taught me important skills: organization, time management, planning, leading, seeing the big picture, being detail oriented, teamwork, and communication. All skills that helped with my first career, and skills that I take with me in my everyday life.

The past several years have shown that music draws people together, but also provides the strength and compels necessary change. One of my students, from when I was still in the public schools told me once, “Ms. Wang, I was having a bad day yesterday, but then I picked up my violin, played, and knew everything would be OK.” This is the impact of music. Something for people to turn to, not only in times of need, but also as a way to express themselves. Philip Pullman put it best when he said, “Children need art and stories and poems and music as much as they need love and food and fresh air and play.” His blog post goes more in depth. And it’s not just children. There have been other adults and friends I’ve talked to, who have described experiencing music in a powerful way.

While a lot of the world circles the outward and necessary points about the benefits of music academically, those were not the reasons that drove me to music. For me, music opened up a whole new world of possibilities, and brings room for continual learning and improvement. It fills my soul, and fuels my other passions. Sure, people may ask, “what about music makes you ready for xyz?” and to that I have to answer, “It’s made me persevere through tough situations, it’s made me into a meticulous and organized person, it’s helped me bridge gaps and become a team player, it’s helped gain stronger self-esteem and confidence, it’s helped me become more outspoken, and it’s opened me to experiencing the beauty in this world.”

Was it the right choice? Yes. Best decision ever. For sure, there have been struggles, and this hasn’t been the easiest of paths, but, I would never, ever change a thing. So, why music? Music has helped me. Music has been my one constant in life. That’s why I chose music.

Why Here, Why Now?

There comes a point in every aspiring professional’s life where sometimes, we just have to take things into our own hands. This springs from a myriad of reasons, but mine….well mine comes from my passion for teaching and music.

This passion has changed and matured throughout the years. It started out with a maddening desire to create the most amazing musicians ever, but has since evolved into something more comprehensive. It has become a desire and passion to spread the love of music to all. It doesn’t matter if you’ll become a professional musician or not, if you get the chance to participate in music, and are moved by it, and forever better because of it, then I’ve done my job right.

But why here, why now? That’s a pretty loaded question. The timing is perfect, conditions are even stellar, as you may say. I’ve just received my Masters, and now have more business sense than my younger self. Plus, I’ve always wanted to develop a studio that really catered to my students’ needs, and exposed them to a variety of options for what music could do for them. While I was able to do this with my students in my schools, I had a desire to really buckle down and focus my energy on the instrument I loved the most, the cello. This coupled with years of working with all string instruments allows me to focus on cello, arrange music for string ensembles, and to coach and teach strings groups. It’s really getting to do what I love, with a schedule that allows me to also pursue my never ending quest to strike the perfect balance between work and life. It frees up my schedule so I can enjoy the great outdoors: hiking, rock climbing, general frolicking in the fields, while also giving me the chance to be with my loved ones. An important thing to hold on to, and something I believe my students need to experience. Life is wonderful, music is wonderful, combine the two and you’re set.

At the same time, I want to be the teacher that teaches the important skills to my students. Skills like: how to breathe and maintain mental clarity while under stress, how to manage your time, how to stay organized, how to approach your practicing in a critical way, all the topics I always wanted to teach to my students but never had a chance to. Now is the time to finally explore these topics with my students, and to better equip them for life beyond music. Giving students skills that will serve them in school, in the working world, and in their own personal lives.

So, here I am. Freelancing with my cello, getting back into building up a studio, and still getting to be a strings education specialist and work as a teaching artist. It’s definitely going to be an interesting journey, but I’m excited to have you along for the ride!